


I can't deny you my life

by SadieEMcBride



Category: Dae Jang Geum | Jewel in the Palace, Jang Geum's dream
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, dae jang geum, jang geum's dream - Freeform, jewel in the palace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26460631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieEMcBride/pseuds/SadieEMcBride
Summary: Lady Han is dead, shortly after that incident in the turmoil of the palace, accused of being in Jo’s league. The story begins three years later, in 1523. Jang Geum is 20. How will the turn of the events affect her life, as well as others?
Relationships: Min Jeong Ho/Seo Jang Geum, Seo Jang Geum/ king Jungjong
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There’s something I changed in the characters, especially Jang Geum and Min Jung Ho. In the main series, and the anime series as well, these two characters were basically incapable of any mistakes. Well I changed that a little. In this story, they are just human.

It was a regular September night. Dinner was just served and sent off to the palaces and the kitchens were cleaned. Jang geum and her friends were about to get free from the daily work. It was peaceful and just random conversations and quiet laughter every now and then could be heard, kitchen ladies heading to their chambers.  
“Isn’t it done yet?” Changi asked her ‘disciplined’ friend who was putting the vinegars in the cabinet.  
“Yeah done.” Jang Geum answered.  
“Yun seang! Yun seang!” Changi tried to wake her friend apparently from her reverie.  
“Huh” she fluttered as a result.  
“Nothing, let’s go.”  
“Yeah let’s go”  
“You seem pretty preoccupied. Is everything ok?” she asked suggestively.  
“Uh yeah, it’s alright” she smiled and looked around her to make sure nobody was there “It’s just, actually Yun Hwan naori might be in the Hanyang.” She almost whispered.  
“Oh how do you know?” jang geum asked as she joined them getting out of the kitchen.  
“I heard from heaya.” She looked at her feet.  
“Good for you! “ Changi said smiling.  
“Yeah that’s great.” Jang geum said, she too feeling happy for her friend, knowing that she might have a chance to secretly meet her crush. And then her smile faded. Palace rules for the ladies were extremely strict and horrifying… “So are you planning to meet him?”  
“I don’t know” she answered dispiritedly. “I mean I can’t slack off tomorrow, while we’re getting prepared for the queen’s birthday.”  
“We will find a way.” Jang geum tried to cheer her friend up.  
“yeah you must certainly go” Changi added.” You are really cheerful for a while every time you see him.”  
Yun seang smiled shyly and blushed. She was going to be 20 soon, she was kind hearted and sweet and usually everybody liked her. Except…  
“You look cheerful yun seang! What did you do again?” youngro appeared to be getting fresh air outside of the chamber and as usual happy to pick on her friend/enemy.  
Yun seang got flustered and clenched her fist and was about to answer but Changi dragged her to their room. Geum young who was reading under the moonlight looked at them over her book and then glanced at jang geum.  
“Hey!” jang geum sat beside her. “What are you reading?”  
“It is poetry” Geum young smiled and looked in front of her.  
“Oh!” jang geum seemed impressed. “And you are in a good mood!” she observed smiling.  
“I am” geum young smiled back at her.  
“I’m going inside so you can read your book in peace.” With that she got up and went inside, leaving geum young in her thoughts. The truth was that she had seen him today. He had been off for a mission to Jeju Island for about two years now. So when she saw him today, near the officers’ place, her heart skipped a bit. She felt weak and almost fell. She didn’t approach him to speak to him, she didn’t find the courage to do so. But she planned to meet him and give him the poetry book she loved so much. The book she was reading at that moment. No subtle way to tell someone you love them… but she didn’t care. She was determined to win him this time, with whatever mean possible. He might have forgotten about janggeum, right? Even if it wasn’t the case He couldn’t be with her, it was forbidden. Geum young couldn’t help herself, she just wanted his affection. If she had his affection, the world would be hers.  
…  
“Are you excited for the queen’s birthday?” Changi asked yun seang.  
“Yeah I am!” yun seang answered cheerfully. “I bet this year it’s going to be really great. The queen is pregnant with her first child, after all.” Then she looked at Jang geum, who was reading a book.” What do you think Jang geum?”  
Jang geum lifted her head from the book and smiled.” Yeah I think it’s going to be great too”  
Yun seang and Changi looked at each other and smiled. After lady Han was killed, Jang geum was devastated, to say the least. She hadn’t been herself, just a figure of herself. They had all been off for a long time, but Jang geum… her circumstances worried them all to death. Not long after that, all of a sudden, min Jung ho had been off to Jeju for his duty. It was so unexpected and they had felt helpless without him at how could they bring Jang geum back to life, as they knew how much she depended on him. And it was not long after Jang geum had somehow recovered from all these. They were relieved to see her functioning like a normal human being again, and a little bit more like herself.  
“Oh you are going to help Geum Young to roast the boar for the ceremony, aren’t you?” Yun Seang asked excitedly.  
“Yes” Jang Geum smiled.  
“That’s a relief that she is going to finally let Jang Geum help with the more complicated dishes.” Changi said looking thoughtful.  
“I hope she finally understands that it’s a waste to not use Jang Geum’s talent. Making her work in soy sauce kitchen was cruel of her. Lady Choi is pure evil.” Said Yun Seang with an exasperated expression.  
“I know right? She was just seeking an opportunity to get rid of Jang Geum… but how come she is coming around?”  
“I guess Geum young has convinced her.” Said Jang Geum, who seemed to be deep in thought.  
…  
“Chicken? What is that for? And is that dust?! Just what’s your plan?” Geum Young asked, looking incredulously at the ingredients.  
“Oh we have enough time, I just want to make stuffed chicken. And this is for covering the chicken before cooking it. Trust me, I have tested it before. When I worked in the soy sauce house, I had plenty of time, it tastes great.” Jang Geum looked enthusiastically in her eyes to convince her.  
“Oh okay do as you wish but I’m seriously worried about the consequences.” Geum Young said, looking genuinely worried.  
“Don’t worry.” Jang Geum looked to be high spirited after a very long time and it made Geum Young happy.  
…  
The ceremony looked pretty busy. There were guests of different positions, ministers, envoys, high-status officers and important men from all over the country and their wives. Everybody looked to enjoy themselves. The royal family, the king, the dowager queen, queen and little princess all looked pretty happy. There were dancing and entertainment. Different kinds of foods and treatment everywhere, the worker maids worked pretty hard. Changi, Yun Seang and Youngro were watching and enjoying some break from work.  
“They are going to serve wild boar cooked by Geum young and Jang Geum soon.” Changi looked curiously around and suddenly froze. “Isn’t he…”  
“What is it?” Yun Seang looked at her perplexed expression and followed her gaze. “Oh …”  
“Yeah that’s him.” Stated Youngro, when she found out they were staring at one ‘Min Jung ho’, who was seating next to some other officer and was talking to him.  
“Just when has he been back?” Yun Seang asked no body in particular, with disbelief.  
“Isn’t he min Jung ho?” officer Kim asked incredulously.  
“Yep, that’s the one.” Jang Suro gazed at his old friend with a pensive expression on his features. They had reunited earlier that day.  
“What’s wrong?” Kim examined his expression for a second. Soon the dishes came and Jang Suro watched as the royals were pleased by what was apparently the roasted meat of wild boar, till they weren’t… something was wrong.  
“I’m sorry, I will return this at once.” Lady Choi desperately begged for pardon.  
The king and queen seemed confused and didn’t know what was going on. In the queen’s plate, there was stuffed chicken, instead of the especial dish of the ceremony, the wild boar.  
“What’s going on?” the king Jung Jong asked. He wanted just everything to be perfect and especial in this day, for his pregnant wife, the queen Mun Jung.  
“Must have been a mistake.” Lady Choi bowed nervously.  
“I don’t think there was a mistake” the queen put her sticks and tasted the meat, then tasted some more. “Who is in the charge of this?” she asked incredulously.  
At this point lady Choi really freaked out and her face drained of all its color. Geum Young is going to be in serious trouble. Just what has she been thinking? “Hwang go fetch whomever has been in the charge of this.” She ordered the young Nain beside her.


	2. Chapter 2

“Please taste some. It’s delicious.” The queen offered the king.   
Lady Choi looked at her unbelievingly. The king tasted and agreed with the queen. “It’s really good.” The dowager queen was not pleased in general.  
Soon Hwang came back, along with a nervous Jang Geum.   
“Are you responsible for this dish?” lady Choi asked her accusingly. She briefly lifted her head and responded.” Yeah my lady.”  
“How do you dare to disobey the head of the kitchen and do just as you wish?” dowager queen asked with evident annoyance. At this point Jang Geum was unable to say any word.   
“What’s going on?” yun seang was beyond anxious for her friend.  
“Why does she always seeking trouble?” youngro said.  
Amongst the curious crowd witnessing the scene was min Jung ho, he watched in disbelief and couldn’t contain his worry.   
“Did you mean to send this for me?” jang geum nodded at the queen’s question. “What was your reason?”   
“I… I heard from the nurses that you have high blood pressure, and I knew that high blood pressure is dangerous for a pregnant woman, so I thought that the wild boar meat isn’t healthy for you. So I prepared that.”  
The queen looked her in disbelief and the king was pretty impressed. Lady Choi looked less than thrilled.   
“So that was the reason... tell me what does the especial taste of it come from?”  
“It’s the reddish dust from the stove.” Jang geum answered, still not so confidant. The king looked at her in disbelief.  
“It’s dust?” the queen asked pretty fascinated.   
“I spread the dust on the chicken and then cooked it. I had tested this before and I was surprised that this gave the chicken some spicy taste.”  
“That’s brilliant.” Stated the queen. The king and the dowager seemed to agree too. “She is such a bright young nain.” Said the dowager.   
“She sure is.” The king looked at her. “What’s your name?”  
“Soe Jang Geum, your majesty” she stated modestly.  
“Jang Geum…”he murmured under his breath.  
“They seem to be praising her” Changi stated in relief and Youngro scoffed.  
Jang Suro seemed to be relieved that there was no more ‘interrogation’ and glanced towards min Jungho’s direction, whose expression wasn’t easy to read.  
…

“So, are you back for good?” Suro asked as they were walking off to his basement.  
“I don’t know, for now yes. Apparently we have defeated all the Japanese pirates invading the south. That’s it for now. And there were requests from Hanyang, stating that they need me to be back. So, here I Am.” min Jung ho explained with somewhat aloof expression.   
“That’s great … I guess.” Suro told him, dumbfounded by his indifference.  
“Thank you … for taking care of her.” Jungho stated, still not looking at him. There was a silence for a while.  
“You shouldn’t have gone, just when she needed you the most.” He stated carefully.  
“No she doesn’t need me, or any one for that matter. She is strong enough. And seems to have been well off without me.”   
Suro sighed. He was too stubborn, he thought.  
…  
“How could that be his fault? That’s insane!” Yun Seang said as they were heading off to main kitchen. ”why would they accuse him of such a thing?”  
“I don’t know, I just know that I need to find the reason to the princess’ numbness so I could rescue Doekgu from the prison.” Jang geum said worriedly.   
Doekgu was Jang Geums stepfather and a chef in the palace. The fact was that the princess had eaten some duck soup he has cooked, and had been numb afterwards, so the police had him captured.   
“How could you do that… you are not a physician.” Yun Seang stated matter-of-factly, with a hopeless tone in her voice.  
“I need to get access to the medicine books.”  
…  
“No there’s no way a palace lady could enter royal library. It’s against rules.” The officer in charge stated sternly.   
“Please let me take a look in the medical books, I need to find out something.” She begged.   
“Let her in” Jang Geum froze at the sight of him, emerged from the door of the library. “I will make sure she leaves soon” with that the officer moved back so she could enter.   
Jang Geum felt her heart pounding, she put her hand on her chest. For seconds she was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to do. When she finally was in hold of herself, she lifted her head and found out he was standing behind her. “Hi…” she turned to face him. Still couldn’t lift her raise her head to look him in the eyes but could feel his intense gaze on her.  
“Hi…” he couldn’t tear his eyes off of her. She looked as angelic and delicate as ever. Maybe a little more mature. “How… how have you been?”  
“Fine…” she briefly raised her head and looked at him, and felt her stomach flipped.” How have you been?”  
“Fine… I guess. I’m sorry that … I left back then… without a word.” he stuttered.   
“That’s ok. I understand.” She could feel the uneasiness of the atmosphere and didn’t know what to say. Until he spoke again.  
“So what did you need?”  
“Oh I just wanted some medicine books.” She stated shyly.  
“Are you ok?” he got worries all of a sudden.  
“I’m ok, it’s for uncle Deokgu. He’s been falsely accused and is in prison”  
“Oh … I see. Let me bring you some of the books that might help.” She nodded and he went to another part of the library. When he was back, he had a few books with him. “Look out in these, if they weren’t helpful, just return them and I will lend you more.”   
She took the books, quickly thanked him and got out of the library. When she got far enough, she stopped, took a deep breath and tried to sink in what just happened. He was back…  
…  
“Choi nain is that you?” Min Jungho reached Geum Young, who was waiting for him outside of his office. She seemed to be deep in thought and in her hands there was some book.  
“Hi… how … how have you been?” she asked, suddenly out of words, at the sight of him.  
“I was alright. It’s been a long time.” He smiled at her.  
“Yeah it’s been a very long time… uh I just heard you were back so I thought that I would say hello and give this… to you.” And handed him the book.   
He looked at her incredulously and took the book, opened it and read a few lines. ”it’s great… I always wanted to read it but I couldn’t get it. Thank you.” He smiled purely, and seeing him smile made her heart flutter, and she struggled to find the right word. “Uh it’s nothing…” then managed to give him a smile, bowed and split. She couldn’t stop smiling for a very long time.


	3. Chapter 3

Jang Geum looked in the mirror and smiled. She hadn’t felt this good in a very long time. She needed to rest. The nurse has just visited her and checked on her conditions. She had gone paralyzed for a little while and the nurse was worried that it might had other side effects as well so she checked on her regularly. The fact was that she had found the reason to the princess’ paralysis and in order to verify that she had tested it herself, and then she had gone under the same predicament. But she couldn’t care less. Now that the doctor knew the cause to princess’ illness they were able to remedy her and her stepfather was released. Only there was a little problem…  
“My sense of taste isn’t back yet.” Jang geum stated disturbed.  
“Even after I did the acupuncture on your tongue the last time? …oh it might take a while. Don’t worry. In most cases the all the senses come back after a while. And you are fine anywhere else aren’t you?” The nurse looked at her worriedly.  
“Yeah I’m fine anywhere else.”   
“Just don’t worry. I will check on you tomorrow again.” Jang geum nodded, still a little desperate, nevertheless.  
…  
“I needed more of those medical books.” Min Jungho looked at her with a questioning look on his face. She didn’t look happy. “Please, I mean I know it’s much to ask.”  
“Is something wrong?” min Jungho couldn’t help but to become worried. “Please tell me.”  
When he heard the story and found out that she had examined the procedure on herself to verify the symptoms with the princess and she in turn had lost her sense of taste, he actually didn’t surprise, it was her after all. He tried to comfort her, as that was the only thing he could do at the moment. When he handed her the books and she left, he began to search in the books. There should be a way.  
…  
Jang Geum sat under one of the pine tree in the middle palace in the middle of the night. She hadn’t told anyone including Yunseang and Changi about her condition and she didn’t want to make them suspicious of her, so she just chose that spot, to read the books she had borrowed. She was terribly down, being clueless as what is going to happen and how much could she go on hiding her condition from every one and most importantly the head of the kitchen, lady Choi. Then she wished lady Han was here with her. If she was alive she couldn’t be so horrified. This pressure was beyond her and she knew she could have tolerated it, with lady Han beside her. A drop of tear fell on the book and only then she knew tears were rolling down her cheeks. Deep in thought, she didn’t even realize some one getting close.   
In that moment the king along with the head eunuch and a group of escorting ladies behind him, was taking a walk and when he saw some palace lady reading something under the moonlight, he became curious, he went in her direction and soon realized that she was crying, and he knew her, she was the same lady who cooked that stuffed chicken for the queen and the same one who sacrificed her own wellbeing for the princess, then he stopped and gestured with the motion of his hand to stop the group as well. He didn’t want to disturb that sight. It was an amazing sight, under the moonlight, her tears were shining on her porcelain skin. Then she brought her petite lily-white hand to her face and wiped her tears. He stepped forward until he was in front of her, and she wasn’t aware even then. The eunuch cleared his throat and Jang Geum almost jumped furiously and bowed and stayed in that position, not daring to lift her head.  
“You are Jang Geum?” the king asked softly.  
“Yeah I am your majesty.” She answered nervously.  
“What were you reading?” “Ah …that’s…” Jang Geum gulped.  
“His majesty is asking a question.” The head eunuch warned her.  
“Just some medicine books” she bowed again.  
The king knew the poor girl was being extremely nervous and would be better off if he just left her alone, but he just couldn’t he was fascinated by this girl.   
“Why were you crying?” but then she regretted asking, how would she be able to explain her feelings to the emperor and with his escorting team around, too? So he just moved along. The head eunuch looked at Jang geum then signed for the maidens to move.   
When they were gone, she finally stood up and exhaled the breath she had held. Confused at what just happened and nervous too, she sat down. Great I just had to seat where his majesty would be passing …   
Then she tried to shake off the thoughts and concentrate again in her reading. She had done nothing wrong. Has she?  
…


	4. Chapter 4

The next night, king was about to take his nightly walk. Then some thought crossed his mind. She wouldn’t be on the same spot tonight, would she? And he decided to take his chance. He couldn’t resist the thought of seeing her again, and he was curious, he wanted to know the reason of her sorrow. This time he would go alone, no escort. Just the head eunuch.  
Meanwhile Jang Geum was looking for a place to read again. But pondered for a moment, would it be alright to seat in her usual spot? Would his majesty pass again? He probably wouldn’t, because she had spent lots of night, in the past, in that place and not once she had encountered him, or anybody. She looked for a while, then gave up and returned to her old spot. She opened one of the books. She had to find a way. Acupuncture wasn’t effective, even the second time. And today she had been about to give it away, when Geum young had asked her to taste some broth. She began reading from where she had left off the night before.   
When he approached that place and saw her seating there, he smiled.   
…  
Jang Geum didn’t know how it happened, but she told the king about her condition and that she was trying to find the cure for it herself out of the medical books. She didn’t know how she found the courage, but he had cared so much that she was surprised and it somehow compelled her to confide in him. She had been very nervous all along but if felt amazing nevertheless, when she had nobody to talk to, it was the king who had wanted hear about her worries. She thanked lady Han in her heart, she knew it was her that had helped her. She didn’t know what could happen, lady Choi or somebody find out about this incidence and her impulsiveness about telling the king about her ‘trivial’ personal problems, but she didn’t care. She somehow felt safe. When the king heard about her situation, he was moved. The next day, king’s personal physician came to examine her. And it was only then when lady Choi, Yunsean and Changi and others learned about her problem. Doctor Jung offered to try the bee’s bite on her. He informed her of the possible side effects but she insisted that she would be fine and that she didn’t care about any side effect, this being her only chance of recovering. So she took the treat, wishing it would work on her.   
Changi and Yunseang wanted to know all about what happened and how she lost her sense of taste and her encounter with the king. Yunseang reprimanded her on not confiding on her. And lady Choi was furious with her hiding the matter from her. Geum young was actually worried, and somehow suspicious of the medical books she had acquired to read.   
…  
Jang geum assumed that it would be his shift in the library so she went to return the books. He was relieved to see her there, as he was worried and wanted to ask her about her condition.   
“I talked to my friend who is a doctor and he said he could examine you, he might actually be able to do something about it” He examined her expression and realized she was happy. “Oh… you look happy, don’t you?”  
Jang geum who could hardly contain her excitement nodded “yes I am, and thank you for everything, I don’t need a doctor anymore, for I am fully recovered!”  
“That’s … that’s great!” it was his turn to be excited. “But … how? I mean, your sense of taste turned back? By itself?”   
“No actually I was examined by…” and she stopped at that point. That would seem too absurd. She was aware that her story was an unusually lucky one, and would surprise him.   
“Who did examine you?” he asked, puzzled.  
She blushed before she continued. “Actually his majesty’s personal physician examined me.”  
“That’s great!” he was even more excited at this point. But after a second he became unsure of something. “But… how is that possible?”  
“I was just unbelievably lucky to be studying those books right in the spot where his majesty was passing from its nearby and he saw me and asked me what my problem was…” she trailed off uncertainly.  
“Really …oh… and you told him?” in that moment his expression was a mixture of different feelings, mostly confusion.   
“Yeah” she felt embarrassed at this point.  
“Oh of course you told him you couldn’t lie to him, cheer up.” he smiled. “The most important thing is you are fine now! That’s … I’m really happy!”  
She looked him in the eyes and saw the sparkle, and her heart raced. She bowed as good bye and walked away, memories of three years ago came rushing back to her head. Little she did know that the same thing was in his mind at the moment.  
…flashback…  
It was a rainy night. Jungho came to the door to see it was jang geum. Terribly down and wet. He leads her inside, too worried to ask her about WHY she was showing up at his basement. Something was WRONG, he knew. Actually after the death of lady Han, everything was wrong. The rules were too strict, but he didn’t care, taking care of her, that was most important to him in that moment.  
Giving her some sheet to wipe herself with, he seats and waits until she feels better and could speak.” Whats wrong?” The vulnerable and pleading look in her eyes is too much for him to bear. He pulls her in his arms, she sighs and eases herself in his hug, wishing to stay like that forever. She is wet and he becomes wet, but he doesn’t care. After a good minute, she pulls back, looking into his eyes. She puts her hands on each side of his face and pulls him to her mouse.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a rainy night. Jungho came to the door to see it was jang geum. Terribly down and wet. He leads her inside, too worried to ask her about WHY she was showing up at his basement. Something was WRONG, he knew. Actually after the death of lady Han, everything was wrong. The rules were too strict, but he didn’t care, taking care of her, that was most important to him in that moment.  
Giving her some sheet to wipe herself with, he seats and waits until she feels better and could speak.” What’s wrong?” The vulnerable and pleading look in her eyes is too much for him to bear. He pulls her in his arms, she sighs and eases herself in his hug, wishing to stay like that forever. She is wet and he becomes wet, but he doesn’t care. After a good minute, she pulls back, looking into his eyes. She puts her hands on each side of his face and pulls him to her mouse, for a kiss. At first he is reluctant, but he couldn’t resist for so long. He puts his right hand around her waist and the other at the back of her head, pulling her even closer. She pulls back and looks him in the eyes, he is out of breath. It isn’t long before the passion takes them over. She takes his hand and puts it on the knot of her top. He takes the hint and opens it and pulls it over her shoulder. She takes off her undergarment revealing her in only her chest band. He grabs her and kisses her neck and shoulder and she sighs in satisfaction, feeling his hot breaths on her skin. He is about to untie her band but suddenly something hits him. He stops and gets his hands off of her. “What am I doing?” he murmurs under his breath. ”I’m … I’m sorry”. Her expression went from confusion to disappointment to glum. Tears were about to falling from her eyes. But he couldn’t comfort her, he was distressed. “Why would you do that?” she managed to say, as she self-consciously held her hands crossed in front of her chest. “You are vulnerable. I can’t take advantage of you.” He stated softly. She put on her undergarment and top. She was devastated and embarrassed.” You are just sad. You will be fine.” He is not sure if he is ever going to be fine.  
“I actually came here to ask you something.” She states a few minutes later, when they both get a little calm. “Once you told me you would do anything for me.” She looks at him intently. “Are you standing by your words?” he is silent for a few seconds. “Of course I am.” “Run away with me.” It takes him few seconds before he actually understands the meaning of her words, whence an expression of horror appears on his features. “I thought you were sad, but you must be utterly, extremely sad.” He looks at her still not believing what he has just heard. ‘Wouldn’t be a dream though?’ he thinks for a fraction of a second, then shakes off that thought. “I am serious. That’s what I want!” she states irritated. “But do you hear yourself? That’s… that’s impossible! You are being irrational!” “Why do I always have to be rational?!” at this point they were both standing and unable to have their voiced under check. “You ARE the most rational person I know! That’s why”. She sat down, feeling defeated, tears rolling down her cheeks again. Gathered her in his arms, not being able to see her this devastated. She sobbed in his arms, and he felt tears burning his own eyes. “If you didn’t change your mind in 7 days, then I would do as you wish.” He whispered in her ear. She pulled back, looking at him. ”really?” her eyes sparked with happiness and he could help but feel his own heart brightening. “Yes”.  
…end of the flashback  
Some nights later Jang Geum was reading another book in her usual spot, late in the night. And it was when she saw the king again, who had intentionally visited that spot to see if he could find Jang geum there, and he had.  
“So you are here.” In her ‘bowing’ situation, she just briefly raised her head, her eyes widened out of curiosity, and saw him smile and. “You… wanted to see me your majesty?”  
“I did!” “I wanted to say how much I am grateful for your generous kindness. I’m… endlessly thankful.” “So you are better now? Your sense of taste is back?” his expression showed bliss. “yeah … and all thanks to you, your majesty.” “I’m so happy. And it’s nothing compared to what you did once, many years ago.” She is off guard and he smiles at her affectionately. “I did?” “You saved my life.” a smile brightens her features as she recalls that memory and she bows again. “What were you reading?” “Just… classics.” He picks the book and surveys it. “You are amazing did you know that?” her face flushes and she is nervous again. “I’m … nothing. You are too kind, your majesty” he laughs a little at that. Then his expression becomes serious. “It warms my heart, to hear those compliments, for I’m actually a ruler who is not good enough for his country.” She bows uncomfortably, surprised and nonplussed. “Please forgive me but I’m sure that’s not the case.” He looks at her with curiosity and she continues. “You are sensitive and caring, you care about your people. You are never indifferent to anybody. And you have tried hard to reform the mess of the country and to bring hope in people’s lives. I think you are an excellent ruler.” She stopped at that and let out a breath. “Forgive me for my bluntness”. Staring at her. In awe, he smiled.  
…  
Geum Young felt that she needed to make a move in order to try her chance, she wasn’t going to forge ahead, just seating idly, if she wanted to gain his heart. And she wanted, so badly. She was alone in a lonely palace. Her family were stuck with their own ways, even if those were cruel at times. And wanted her to be in their game. And there was this girl, who outshined in everything, and was bright and positive. And then there was this fabulous guy, with whom she was in love since a very young age, who didn’t have a place in his heart for her. She needed to do something, to be spontaneous, for she didn’t have much to lose, and time to waste. She needed to take hold of small chances. In the evening, She prepared a very especial meal, one which she was especially expert at. Did her hair, dressed in a nice Hanbok and put on a fine perfume. She was being reckless but she didn’t care, soon she was at his door.


	6. Chapter 6

He himself opened the door, surprised to see her behind it. But he led her inside politely, nevertheless, wondering what she was up to. She was a little bit nervous but managed to look confidant. When they were inside she invited him to seat. He didn’t.  
“Why are you here Choi nain?” he asked somewhat weary. “You shouldn’t be here.” There was a brief silence before she answered. She felt helpless for a second but then she again gathered her self-confidence. “I know I shouldn’t be here, and what do you know, how hard would it be for a court lady…” she stopped, regretting the bitterness of her voice, and got a hold of herself. “Please seat.” Dumbfounded he sat, and watched as she set the meal she had cooked in front of him. Gujeolpan, grilled sliced pork with nuts, honey cookies and wine. They smelled great. Right then he heard knocking on the door, he excused himself and went out. She sighed and tried to organize her thoughts. What was she going to do next? She looked around and looked at the room. It was clean and tidy, just a little desk on the corner with a few books on it. And a ring. A …ring? She got up and got close to be able to see well. It was a ring and not just any ring. She knew that ring. It belonged to Jang Geum and it came in a pair, she had the other one. And she knew Jungho used to have this one, but it was a long time ago… she wished maybe somehow sometime along the way, he may had lost it…  
When Jungho comes in, he notices Geum Young is somehow down, but couldn’t say what the reason would be. The ornate cuisine she has prepared… he knows she had a crush on him when they were younger, but could it be that she hasn’t gave up on him even now? “You didn’t have to do this.”  
“I felt like to do it” she said with somewhat less than upbeat sound, and avoiding looking at him, but he notices her red-rimmed eyes.  
“You are… an amazing cook.” He says without even really thinking about what he was saying. How could he cheer her up? “But you haven’t had a bite yet” he seats and grabs sticks and picks some of the pork and tries it. “I stand by what I said.” She smiles half-heartedly. “So… I’m a good cook” “you are much more… for starters, you are insanely courageous, judging by what you have done tonight.” “I’m not all that courageous… I love you” she confesses impulsively. Dumbfounded, he gazes at her. “That’s … that’s… you know that it’s impossible anything is ever going to happen between us.” “I know. But if you had feelings for me too, the loneliness and the pain would have been much easier to bear” caught off guard, he is short of words again. He shakes his head. “Say something” she pleads. “What ... What do you want me to say?” he gulps. “Say you don’t have any feelings for me” he hesitates just a few seconds. “I…I don’t have any feelings for you” he looks down “I’m sorry… and I know it must have taken you a great deal of courage to admit your feelings for me” he adds, still not looking directly at her. “Yes it did… and don’t be sorry. Just admit something” “what?” “That you love someone” he looked at her, unsure of her intentions. He ponders the question for a few seconds and finally responds “I love someone” she sighs. “Who is she?” he looks at her in disbelief.” Why do you need to know?” “In order to get over you, I need to hear this, I need you to declare it aloud… I do know it however, in my heart. But I need to hear from your lips” he considers her demand carefully. “I can’t tell… it would be too dangerous for her. It’s a great deal of a risk” he says quietly. From the look on his face, she knows what he is thinking about. “Actually that tells enough, I need no more.” She smiles sadly. She knows what he means when he says it’s dangerous for her. Her suspicions having been confirmed, she just needs to go. She stands and so does he. “I’m going to get going” she smiles bows and gets out of the room while He is left dumbfounded.   
…flashback  
Jang geum is scared, thrilled and happy all the same. In the last six months she has gone through the hell. She has helplessly watched as Lady Han had been captured and prisoned, interrogated and tortured for two months, for false accusations of conspiracy. She had tried to acquire evidence for her innocence. Min Jungho had been restless all the while, and their attempts had paid off and the interrogation had been put off, but one day out of nowhere it had restarted, she had been tortured for days before she deceased. The tragic death of Lady Han left Jang Geum shocked. For months her physical and mental health worried everybody, especially Yunseang, geumyoung, Changi, Jungho and Suro. They were worried to death. It had been a downward road, no matter how much they had tried. Until that night happened. She showed up at his door, soaked in the rain, and the rest…   
She is going to tell him that she is ready to run away with him. She wants and she needs to that, she wants to be with him and she needs to run away from the palace, the vey place where she has such found memories of her. The very place where took her away from her. She detests here. Just can’t bear being here. She can’t help seeing her wherever she looks, in the kitchens, in the yard, her chamber. Even in the city, downtown, in the bazaar, at the bank of the river, just everywhere. It’s too much of a pain, She NEEDS to go away.  
She needs to do that with HIM. He is love of her life, she can’t deny or hide that anymore, and she is willing to take all the consequences. It’s been a week now and she is going to tell him, that she stands by what she said, that she WANTS to elope with him, as he promised.   
“Master? He left for Jeju.” That was what the servant enunciated.  
“What?! All of a sudden? Why did he go? When… when is he going to be back?” she asks disoriented, disappointment emanating from her expression and her voice.   
“I don’t know when he is going to be back. I don’t believe it’s going to be any time soon. He demoted his rank to join the navy in the south… That was sudden. Anyways, he left yesterday.” He explains for her. Dumbfounded, she just thanks him and walks away. The words doesn’t just sink in right away. He has left? For an uncertain amount of time? Without even telling her... and that hits her. Was that his plan all along?

**Author's Note:**

> According to Wikipedia, “Jo Gwangjo (1482 –1520) was Korean Neo-Confucian scholar who pursued radical reforms during the reign of Jungjong of Joseon in the early 16th century.” We know that king jungjong grew suspicious of him claiming the throne so first exiled him then sentenced him to death. Well that’s not our business.


End file.
